Clamming Up

So, longtime no post... is what I'd say to me if I was following my blogs. Its been a month of struggle against accepting what is. I want things to be different. One word I'd not use for myself is "content" right now. I'm not. I thought I'd have been with my beloved months ago and still, I'm not. I thought money would no longer be a haunting problem but yet, it is. Contentment...no. However, Faith, I'm doing better with, usually. There are good days, and bad days. What is my Faith?? Its in knowing that all will be provided. That when I can't see the reason for what is happening today, its knowing that a greater reason IS there and when I'm ready to see it, I will. The answers are always there, always, I know that. I have seen that proven enough times to not need more proof, only to go to Faith. I know if I hold a ball and drop it, it will fall to the ground, I don't have to drop it to know that. With that same knowing, I know the answer is there, when I am ready, I see it. I have gratitude for that, tremendous gratitude.